Things I ask myself now, at 69, before getting on the floor:
1.) Is what I am going to do on the floor worth the effort to get off the floor when I am done?
2.) Is there anything near that I can use to leverage myself off of the floor when I am need to stand up?
3.) Can this wait until there are more things on the floor that I need in order to maximize my floor experience? Honestly, why pick up an errant spoon when you can wait for the knife and fork to fall later.
4.) Can this wait until a more youthful friend (say late 50’s) shows up and I can casually ask them to help me like I just noticed it now?
5.) Will anyone really notice if I don’t do what needs to be done of the floor? A good kick towards the couch will hide anything you don’t really need to immediately retrieve.
6.) Is there a pillow within grabbing distance so if I have to stay longer on the floor than necessary I can, at least, be comfortable?
7.) Do I have my cell phone in case I find myself unable to get off of the floor?
8.) Do I have enough clothes on so that nobody, particularly me, is embarrassed if I need to call someone to get me off the floor?
9.) Should I leave the door unlocked so the person who is rescuing me has easy access to my apartment?
10) Why is it that everything I need right now is on the floor?
Mind Stewing, Fingers Typing 
Lol to #6 I actually chuckled, I now like a pillow
Always have a pillow ready. If it is too strenuous you can also take a nap before your next attempt.
An excellent sketch for some budding comedian – so apt! It really made me chuckle and wince.
Only solution, but maybe you’ve left it too late, altho’ Sesame, our pilates teacher says it’s never too late, is to buy some loose fitting jogging pants, ones with big pockets, always good for putting objects in, any a baggy T shirt is fine as a top, then sign up at your local pilates class.
You’ll be amazed how the downward dog soon stretches out to you being comfortable on all fours, not long later you’ll be leaning back on your heels, a quick intake of breath to support the abs and up, up you go, firmly on your two flat feet!!
Well that’s the theory out of the way.
Think option 4 may be your best bet. X
Much love, hoping this finds you sitting comfortably!
Loose fitting jogging pants are, in my eyes, one of the best inventions in the history of the world. Thanks for reading.