OK, I have a bit of a beef with Visine eye drops. The product is fine. Pretty much instant relief from itchy eyes. However getting the protective plastic wrap at the tip of the container is a challenge.

I am sure there is some easy way to rip the protective plastic wrap off but whatever that may be eluded me. It broke me. It got to the point I was trying to determine what form of physical force I could use to open the fucker. I am afraid to say that pounding it on the bathroom marble doesn’t work which led to me considering chewing through the wrapper.

The only thing that stopped me from this method was the embarrassment of having to explain my cracked tooth to my dentist who already thinks I am of an asshole because I won’t fix a tooth that he says is due for imminent collapse, something he has been saying for the last 7 years and has weathered the most rigorous assault from the vast arsenal of dental tools at my dental hygienist’s disposal. My tooth beats them every time.

I think it is pure orneriness on my part that I haven’t gotten it fixed. I get a great amount of pleasure in depriving my dentist of the couple of thousand dollars it would take to repair it. They have definitely toned down their pleas that I will be in Paris some day and my whole trip will be ruined when my tooth falls out. Now they just say I might put it on my calendar for this year.

So I am overdue for the damn tooth to come out. I would hate for it to break my tooth for such a lame reason that I lost my temper with the plastic wrapper on my eye drops that I, in a moment of uncontrollable anger, I decided to rip it off with my teeth. I couldn’t bear the look he would give me. After 7 long years of them trying to knock that fucker off with every dental instruments known to man, all it took was a plastic wrap to do the trick. I am afraid it would break him.

Anyway, back to the plastic wrap. I had to use my nose hair scissors to finally get underneath the plastic enough to remove it. It was a minor trauma in a life filled with minor traumas.