Tag: underwear

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Speaking as a sexy man, I just don’t think this particular fig leaf is worth the effort.

First, there are way too many straps. I prefer that my underwear is easy to put on and take off. I am pretty certain I would get caught in the tangle of straps and that the flame of passion would be extinguished before I could untangle myself from my underwear.

Then, the straps would need to be adjustable for the improportionate man. Let’s face it that is most of us. Which means it will either sag who knows wear or be so tight as to make breathing impossible and endangering younger men’s potential for children.

There would also be problems if the straps were adjustable. The challenge would be to balance the straps so that the whole ensemble looks enticing. The more straps, the more time spent adjusting. This looks like a good half an hour of adjusting just to get it on. Every minute spent dressing is one less minute spent seducing, not a very good distribution of effort to result ratio if you ask me. Better to spend it on sweet nothings than strap encumbered underwear.

Creeping underwear syndrome would cause further problems if the gentleman is entertaining the object of his desire with a candlelight dinner first. How many trips to the bathroom would a man have to make before he got the straps adjusted in such a way that he could both sit and stand comfortably? I shudder to think what his date might think is going on after the fifth trip to the restroom. I am betting it isn’t I can’t wait to seem him in his multiple strapped underwear.

Sorry, I think I am going to stick with simple pair of jockeys and hope that the sinewy display of abs and gluts will make up for the lack of straps.

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I saw the above advertisement in the Cheap Undies site the keeps sending me emails totally against my will — just so you know that I would never solicit this kind of material on my own. It just comes to me. Twice a day. Against my will. Really. Believe me.

Any way, I have asked before and I will ask again. Is grabbing one’s junk a good pose for selling men’s underwear? I think I know why in this case. The company wanted to show the see through capacity of the underwear without showing the male appendage. But it just drew my eyes to the appendage and I am straining my eyes to see if I can determine if those are fingers or the male appendage.

I am seeing this grabbing the junk pose with increasing frequency and every time I see it I think the same thing. This is crossing a line. I don’t know what line it is crossing but it just feels like a little too much even for a liberal gay guy like myself.

Is this crossing a line? Or am I showing my age? Any thoughts?

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About 25 years ago I began to receive a catalogue for Cheap Undies for men. It came out of nowhere one day and I thought why am I getting this? I would never wear any of this and after giving it more thought I realized somehow, someone out their in the wide world web had figured out that I was gay. I am betting that straight males are not receiving these kind of catalogues. It is much more likely that they are receiving Victoria’s Secret.

I only say this because I wouldn’t want people to think I actually would wear anything like this. I am much more of the on sale brand at Macy’s kind of guy. I won’t buy the cheapest underwear, because like with wine buying, I think it is important to buy the 2nd cheapest as opposed to the cheapest. It sets you apart from the really cheap people. I wouldn’t want the clerk to get the wrong idea about me. It’s a rule for me — the 2nd cheapest pair of underwear, the 2nd cheapest bottle of wine.

And certainly nothing sexy or stylish. In my youth, I tried to wear them as to increase my sexual appeal. I usually felt vaguely uncomfortable and like a bit of a poser. And if you really consider underwear, it is the one item of clothing not available for perusal prior to picking up, so it seems like investing in a nicer T shirt or tighter jeans was a better investment. This is to say, in case you are missing my point and calming your fears about how sexy I think I am, I will not be purchasing the above products any time soon.

So now that I got that awkward stuff out of the way. What is it with the get up on gentleman number 1. Numbers 2 and 3 I get but what is that strap around the neck doing on the first young man. It looks like the straps to a bra. Without the bra. For a man. The only thing I can come up with is it draws the eye to his chest? But after a few seconds of grateful admiration I always return to what is he wearing and why?

It looks, and I am really trying to think of a gentle way to put this but can’t so I will just come out and say it, stupid. Why not go with the naked chest alone? Or a tank top or t Shirt? But a strap around the upper chest? Huh?