First it is important to know that I hate the color orange. It hurts my eyes every time I see it. So the above shirt had one strike against it to begin with. But, upon closer inspection, it just gets worse. Orange, as I have said, is a problem for me but the combination of green, white and orange is ghastly. Then the patterns are inconsistent in a way that makes the shirt look poorly put together. You have orange line running down the left side of the shirt surrounded by squares, except for the one section where the buttons are which looks like a sideways Utah and gives the appearance of being wonky and amateurish. This is a horrible looking shirt that I can only see senior golfers wearing when the nicer shirts are at the bottom of the dirty cloths basket. A definite no from me.
Yesterday I reported on a terrible fashion trend in men’s underwear and I am seeing more even more outlandish ones today:
It looks like the man is wearing a very large diaper and a too small bra. And the zipper. What purpose could it have but make dressing up in it even more difficult? What in God’s name were they thinking? Why would any self respecting man think that rambling into their bedroom with this on would spark a romantic tryst is beyond me.
This has so much wrong with it I don’t now where to begin. It is aesthetically unpleasing, impractical to wear and it looks terribly uncomfortable. A definite no from me.
Speaking as a sexy man, I just don’t think this particular fig leaf is worth the effort.
First, there are way too many straps. I prefer that my underwear is easy to put on and take off. I am pretty certain I would get caught in the tangle of straps and that the flame of passion would be extinguished before I could untangle myself from my underwear.
Then, the straps would need to be adjustable for the improportionate man. Let’s face it that is most of us. Which means it will either sag who knows wear or be so tight as to make breathing impossible and endangering younger men’s potential for children.
There would also be problems if the straps were adjustable. The challenge would be to balance the straps so that the whole ensemble looks enticing. The more straps, the more time spent adjusting. This looks like a good half an hour of adjusting just to get it on. Every minute spent dressing is one less minute spent seducing, not a very good distribution of effort to result ratio if you ask me. Better to spend it on sweet nothings than strap encumbered underwear.
Creeping underwear syndrome would cause further problems if the gentleman is entertaining the object of his desire with a candlelight dinner first. How many trips to the bathroom would a man have to make before he got the straps adjusted in such a way that he could both sit and stand comfortably? I shudder to think what his date might think is going on after the fifth trip to the restroom. I am betting it isn’t I can’t wait to seem him in his multiple strapped underwear.
Sorry, I think I am going to stick with simple pair of jockeys and hope that the sinewy display of abs and gluts will make up for the lack of straps.
I saw the above advertisement in the Cheap Undies site the keeps sending me emails totally against my will — just so you know that I would never solicit this kind of material on my own. It just comes to me. Twice a day. Against my will. Really. Believe me.
Any way, I have asked before and I will ask again. Is grabbing one’s junk a good pose for selling men’s underwear? I think I know why in this case. The company wanted to show the see through capacity of the underwear without showing the male appendage. But it just drew my eyes to the appendage and I am straining my eyes to see if I can determine if those are fingers or the male appendage.
I am seeing this grabbing the junk pose with increasing frequency and every time I see it I think the same thing. This is crossing a line. I don’t know what line it is crossing but it just feels like a little too much even for a liberal gay guy like myself.
Is this crossing a line? Or am I showing my age? Any thoughts?
Mind Stewing, Fingers Typing 