As I get older, I have been thinking more of death and subsequently the afterlife. I have to say the afterlife really has little appeal to me. I mean it is eternity, for Christ’s sakes, what could I have against eternity. First, it is an awfully long time. Forever. It is kind of overwhelming.

Then there is the meeting all dead friends and relatives. This sounds good in theory but I a not sure the practice would meet my expectations. For example, my parents have been dead for over 20 years. Knowing them, they are already established in their afterlife and here I come along expecting to hang with them. Why would they want to raise me yet again? I was a lot of trouble the first time around and they have to show me the ropes yet again.

Or worse still, I will be met my Grandmother Schnell. She was a terribly unhappy woman on Earth and I can’t imagine that heaven would change her much. You are talking an eternity with a woman I avoided when she was alive. Sorry but I am not interested in an eternity with her.

Finally there is the eternity of church services. Praising God all day long 24/7/365. I could barely tolerate once a week when I was forced to attend services when I was a kid. Imagine an eternity of Sunday church services — bad singing, empty rituals, and haranguing sermons. Sounds very much like Hell to me. Maybe, just maybe, this is Hell especially for all those people who hated Church services. Think about it. What better way to punish these malcontents for an eternity.

But mostly it is the idea of having to learn everything all over again. Starting out all over again and learning a whole new system which doesn’t involve activities that I am particularly interested in. Things like drinking, sex, and goofing off with friends. Now that I could manage for an eternity but that isn’t what the brochure says about Heaven. Sorry, I just don’t think I have it in me.

My parents were Catholic and so they took it up themselves to raise their five children as Catholics. In order to make this happen, I endured 12 years of Catholic schools. I am afraid the Catholic school system let them down terribly. On the plus side I acquired a pretty good working knowledge of the Bible and religious doctrines, at least, as understood by the Roman Catholic Church.

The first big roadblock to me continuing as a Catholic was I could never understand why Jesus Christ had to die for our sins. Nobody could really explain the reasoning. It hardly seems fair to have an innocent man die an incredibly violent death in order to save the souls of the worlds’ sinners.

Now, I get that something had to be done. The sinners were doomed for Hell but why God determined that the only way this could happen is for Jesus to die. Wait, I take it back, I really don’t understand why God created a world of sinners that needed Jesus to die in order to save them. Jesus whole death sentence is based in the failure of humanity to uphold God’s laws. Something he knew was going to happen when he created Adam and Eve.

Why does God need to have such suffering in order to say, well OK, Jesus died a horrible death, by dying, Jesus showed how much he loved human beings so I will give all human beings a second chance to get into Heaven. Even more troubling to me is that God knew Jesus would willingly die on the cross so even before He set all of this in motion, why bother?

I was in a Spanish Church with a Christian friend. We were marveling at the artwork which depicted Jesus on the cross when she said “you know he would do all again. Die for our sins.” Which,OK, given Christian Myth, true. But why? This wonderment that Jesus would willingly suffer death to redeem man leaves out the important question, at least for me. God could ask anything, certainly less painful methods of execution, yet he demanded death, a rather unpleasant death at that. Why?

Based on this fundamental tenant of Christian faith, why would I believe that God is a loving God. He sounds more like a sadist to me. Pain and suffering is a part of the plan. Dear God, why?

I know a Christian who, on occasion, posts about the coming of judgment day. She thinks it is  imminent. She usually adds a little jibe about how an awful lot of people are going to be going to Hell if they don’t get right with the Lord now. I am sure she would see this as a gentle reminder about finding Jesus before it is too late but it reeks with delight that a bunch of sinners will finally get what they deserve. I wish I believed her good intentions story but there is too much condescension in her tone to ignore. She is trying to save us from Hell but people are ignoring her.

This nasty superiority, more than anything else, detracts from what passes as Christianity in the modern world. So I wasn’t much surprised that Pope Francis was criticized for wanting to find Hell empty if he ever happened to visit. Of course, these Christians felt Pope Francis was missing Jesus’ whole point (see here, here and here) which is sending non-believers and miscreants to Hell.

It isn’t that Jesus wants us to be good so we can join Him in Heaven. The important thing here is that sinners must be punished. What is the point of being a good Christian if everyone gets to Heaven later?

The more I hear about these Christians, the more I prefer Hell than their version of Heaven. Besides most everyone I know and like will be in Hell so I much rather spend an eternity with people I like than with those assholes.