Tag: Customer Service

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So I wanted to buy a book.

I avoid Amazon because I find Jeff Bezos business practices suspect, to say the least, but I needed to buy the book quickly and didn’t have it in me to try something new and Amazon is easy which is long way to go to say I had to buy a book from the horrible Jeff Bezos.

Somehow in the process of buying the Kindle book, I also bought the audio book. I didn’t want the audio book. I tried to return it. After about 15 minutes of fruitless reads of the “Help” pages. I surrendered. I would to talk to Customer Service. It took me a good few minutes to find the Customer Service phone number but I finally found the hidden icon. I was immediately informed that it would when be a half hour wait to actually talk to someone and they kindly informed that there were other avenues to get help for my problem. Do you really want to wait a half hour on hold when Chat can help you right now.

I tried Chat. I told Chat I wanted to return an audio book. Amazon had a drop down box for accidental purchase which means accidental purchases of audio books is a frequent problem. Now, I want to pause my rant to point out something this should be a red flag to whoever is in charge of their system that there is a problem with people accidentally purchasing audio books. If it happens so often that they have an actual drop down box for it means it happens a lot. But I am pretty sure that the accidental purchase of unwanted products is a benefit not a feature of their system. How much money does Amazon earn from accidental purchases from people who don’t realize they have accidentally purchases something. What a wonderful source of passive income for the company.

Anyway, I was cracking away with the Chat function when Chat told me I could only return an audio book if I paid with a credit card which was mystifying because I had paid with a credit card. Since Chat was convinced that Chat had resolved the problem Chat wouldn’t let me talk any longer about my problem. Whenever I tried to return to the subject of my accidental purchase, Chat reminded me that Chat couldn’t help because I needed to have purchased with a credit card. The matter was resolved as far as Chat was concerned. I am assuming Chat’s reluctance to discuss the matter any further was because Chat was an AI robot and not an actual person. I couldn’t change Chat’s mind because Chat didn’t have a mind to change.

I decided to wait for phone operator. It took about 20 minutes, so less than the half hour mentioned at the beginning of the call. I spoke to Mohamed who took all of one minute to resolve my problem. ONE MINUTE, I tell you. He also let me in on why I couldn’t get a refund from Chat because I needed to belong to some Audio Club to get the refund. This might explain why the system wouldn’t let me use the normal refund process. I wasn’t supposed to get one because I didn’t belong to the Audio Club. The system just lumped my accidental purchase under a general category of not buying with a credit card because that happened a lot more.

I was bothered that I shouldn’t get a refund for my accidental purchase. It was an accident after all. In a conversation that resembled a comedy show routine, Mohamed said that only club members could return audio materials but I reminded him that I accidentally purchased the audio item. Mohamed then said and that was why he was refunding my money. He just wanted me to know that, in the future, I couldn’t return audio materials. But what if I accidentally purchase it, well then Mohamed said he would refund. Which begs the question why not just use the regular Amazon return system instead of forcing me to call them and explain that I accidentally purchased an audio book.

Never mind, I am pretty sure that Mohamed didn’t understand the policy either. He was doing his job, and quite well I might add. Someone up the food chain wants customers to know that if they accidentally purchase an Audio book they aren’t supposed to get a refund unless they belong to the Audio Club. Mohamed ticked that box. He didn’t understand the policy any better than I did so he couldn’t explain the policy to me. He followed his company script and that was all that mattered.

There are several reasons for me to be irritated with this customer service encounter:

  1. A human being resolved my problem quickly and efficiently. The Chat robot and help pages were time consuming and utterly useless.
  2. Making it difficult to talk to an actual human being is unhelpful. The company is actively thwarting good customer service by giving a show of alternates that aren’t as good. I tried for a good 15 minutes to use the help pages and then tried for another 10 minutes with Chat. Neither could help me, a person could.
  3. I spent a good 45 minutes to get $5.44 back when a human being could have help me almost instantaneously. How is routing customers to ineffective tools and wasting your customer’s time helpful.
  4. I am starting to believe that this is all an intentional way for Amazon to get passive income. How many people give up trying to get a refund? Indeed I thought several times is this worth my time to get back a paltry $5.44. There were so many impediments in my way. First, I didn’t realize I had bought the audio book, then I couldn’t return it through normal return process, the “Help” pages were no help at all, Chat couldn’t help me and I had to wait 20 minutes to get a customer service agent. I am certain that there are people who would have given up and ka-ching and extra $5.44 in Jeff Bezos pockets.
  5. Why aren’t more human beings hired for customer service? Jeff Bezos is a billionaire numerous times over. Real live human beings are better customer service than all the self-help bull shit put in our way. They just are. So why not have the customer service phone prominently displayed on every page and properly staffed so a customer doesn’t have to wait long to get help.
  6. Also, and this over everything else think might matter to someone like Bezos, the whole process made me hate Amazon all the more. Yes, I will use Amazon under duress but I am willing to pay more to stop him from getting any more of money that is absolutely necessary.

Rant complete.

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Talking to a doctor’s office, not the doctor, but just the fucking doctor’s office has become nearly impossible.

In late September, I talked with my primary doctor about a skin problem I was having. He advised me to see a dermatologist and referred me to one. I called the dermatologist for an appointment where I was strongly advised to leave a message and that someone from the doctor’s office would call me back. I get an email that very same day saying that someone would investigate (I am assuming whether they take my insurance and they will pay for it) and get back with me. So far, things are going swimmingly.

But then no return phone call for a week. As I was going out of town, I put it on hold, thinking foolishly, that eventually someone would contact me with an appointment. When I returned to San Diego, still having not received a response from the doctor, I called the office to inquire about my appointment. I talked to a nice woman who apologized profusely about the failed response and booked an appointment for me. Success.

A day or so later, I received a phone call from the nice woman telling me that while they took my insurance this year, they weren’t taking it next year. Since it is now mid-October and the soonest they can get me an appointment for was mid-November, they didn’t want to start seeing me as a patient in cases their services were needed into 2026. All vaguely rational sounding, so I went back to my primary physician.

The assistant at my primary physician’s office, who has always been helpful, couldn’t understand why they just didn’t keep the appointment and, if I needed further treatment, refer me another dermatologist in 2026. She said I had a legitimate concern about a growth on my hand and they could, at least, get the ball rolling.

She told me she would take care of it. A day later she calls me back saying that they don’t want me as a patient and she find another dermatologist to look at my hand. She added it might take a little time because she now has to investigate which doctors will take my insurance in both 2025 and 2026. Towards the end October, she finds one.

I got swept up with other events in my life but was finally able to contact the new dermatologist at the beginning of November. A very unhelpful phone tree took the call. The recorded message kept advising me to use the on-line scheduling system. My experience with on-line scheduling has been horrendous. There is no response to my request or a continual back and forth about a suitable date for the appointment.

I opted to stay on the phone line where every so often I was encourage again to use the on line system or leave a message on the recorder and someone would call me back that very same day. My experience with this is I rarely get a call back and, if I do, it is never on the same day. I chose to stay on the line. Fifteen minutes into my wait, I was disconnected. Or I think I was disconnected. I stopped getting the annoying messages about using the on line system and my phone stopped timing how long the phone was. There was just silence which I deduced was a hang up.

I called again but this time I decided to look at the on line system. I completed the form as best I could knowing that there would be a back and forth about the actual appointment. I sent the form in while waiting because what the Hell, I was on hold any way, it was something to fill the time, I got some lunch and, after a half hour on hold, I surrendered. I would just have to trust that the on line system would work.

Later that day, I received a response from their on line system telling me that they were working on scheduling my appointment and I they would confirm an appointment soon. I don’t like the sounds of soon. Soon. That could be any time frame they choose.

So it is approaching the middle of November and I still do not have a scheduled date for someone to look at the growth on my hand. Think about that. A month and half just trying to get a fucking appointment.

Thank God I don’t live in a country with socialized medicine who knows how long I would be waiting for an appointment.

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I like my doctor and his staff (all of one person). It is a small office and whenever I call the doctor’s assistant either answers the phone or she responds to my messages in a timely manner. So my complaint here isn’t a general one, it is about the big doctor’s office which increasingly run medical offices in the USA. I understand that sharing resources, like switchboards, is cost effective way for doctors to handle their office overhead overall but I have yet to encounter one that delivers good service.

The most annoying aspect is they all have an automated phone tree. You know press 1 for billing, press 2 for appointments, press 3 for etc. etc. The phone tree is a great idea gone bad. They are usually too long for me. I have drifted off thinking about something completely unrelated to my phone call by the time the message ends and I haven’t heard or have missed the department I needed so I have to repeat the message and hope I can focus long enough to get my department.

Then, while waiting for the operator to answer, there is the annoying reminder that I really should be consulting the website. Why are you calling when you can consult the website and get all of your answers there. You are just waiting for who knows how long when you could be looking at the website or leaving a message. Why are you still holding, you fucking idiot, go to the website. If I could get the answer from the website, I wouldn’t be calling the office. I always consult the website first because, even at grand old age of 68, I know you are supposed to consult the website first. One reminder would be sufficient, the constant reminders are irritating so much so that if I do get lucky and actually am connected to person, I am usually livid when they answer. It isn’t pretty.

I would take the phone tree up on the option to leave a message if the office would in fact, return my phone call. My experience with phone tree messages is rarely, if ever, do I get a return phone call. Which is odd. If I leave a message on an actual person’s recorder, I usually get an answer. If I have waited for a half hour and reached the point where I realize nobody is going to answer my phone call and I leave a message on the office’s general phone line — I almost never get a response. And I do mean never.

Then there is the baffling experience when the phone forces me to leave a message even after I have committed to staying on the line no matter what. The call gets switched to an answering machine that says — please leave a message at the beep. I am usually so stunned when this happen that I can’t leave a coherent message. I was all right with waiting. Why can’t I wait anymore but you have heard the beep, the phone tree has made it’s decision and you force to leave a message I know will never be answered.

Phone trees might make sense to the budget conscious medicine business complex but it is wretched customer service particularly when a great many of the callers are older and less adept in dealing with automation period. It is frustrating and confusing instead.

I do want to share one secret that works most of the time for me. Press the button for billing. Billing almost always answer the phone and they can usually connect you with the person you need.

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We bought a car a couple years back with an extended warranty which meant, or so we were told, that any problem with the car in the next 6 years, the dealership would handle free of charge. ANY problem. It was even called a Platinum Plan in order to let us know it was the best warranty possible. First, before I go too far, we love the car. It has treated us well and the free oil changes and tune up services we bought have been welcome.

But all good things must come to an end. Bob noted a problem with one of the door seals. It was a little tattered. I was taking the car in for an oil change so I made an appointment for a tune up and noted the problem with the door seals hoping that this can be dealt with at the same time.

We also kept getting a recall notice about a trailer hitch. We don’t have a trailer hitch but they had to do something or rather in order to actually confirm that we didn’t have a trailer hitch. Mind you this is the dealership where we bought the car and I would assume that they would have a record. They did not so they would have to check the trailer hitch in order for us to stop getting the recall notices. I decided to take care of this while I was there.

I arrived on time for my 11AM appointment to a 6 lines of cars with approximately 5 cars in each line. This looked ominous. I waited patiently in the car for Sam, my service counsellor, to consult with me. After a few minutes, he arrived. I explained why I was I was here and that I had an appointment to get his service. Things got hairy pretty fast. Sam explained that it would take at least two hours for the oil change, the door seals and the trailer hitch recall, it might take an additional couple of hours.

But I have an appointment. Sam informed me that this was only an appointment to talk with him and not when the car would actually be serviced. The woman who made the appointment never told this. Why would I think an appointment for a conversation about servicing my car instead of actually servicing the car. The whole reason for getting an appointment was for me to schedule my time and wait at the garage for the matter to be handled. Sam gave me the look of someone who has had to answer this same question a million times, a shoulder shrug, a pitiful look and then silence.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, Sam kindly offered to pay for Uber to take me home if I wanted to wait at home. I decided to take them up on this offer. The problem was I had to have Uber as an application and the dealership would give me a voucher as payment. I don’t use Uber because they treat their drivers horribly. I use Lyft who treat their drivers a little less horribly. In order to use the voucher, I had to put the Uber application on my phone.

So I began the arduous process of loading the Uber application, when Sam, as if this important piece information might have a bearing on my decision, informed me that he didn’t know if they had the door seals in stock or whether it was covered by the warranty.

I said of course it was covered by warranty. We bought the platinum warranty which was supposed to cover ANY repair for the next 5 years. Sam, again as polite and as beaten down person could be, explained that it would probably be covered but he would have to check with his boss.

I repeated the phrase Platinum Warranty as if this should ring a bell for him and make him understand the situation. It had absolutely no meaning for him whatsoever. Sam didn’t know what was covered on any warranty — be it Gold, Silver, Bronze or Platinum. It turned out I knew more about the Platinum Warranty than Sam. He still would have to ask his boss. He did say, as if to encourage me, that if I understood that they would repair anything that they would probably cover anything. I wasn’t encouraged.

After much pressing of keys and staring blankly at a computer screen, Sam determined that they did not have the door seals in stock and would have to special order them. Why did I drive all the way up here (OK it was all of 10 minutes but Sam didn’t know that) if the dealership didn’t have the part in the first place. More pitiful looks and shoulder shrugs. He didn’t make the rules. He didn’t understand the rules. He didn’t know anything about warranties. He was just here to see that my car was serviced and nothing else.

As I pondered my dilemma, Sam asked me if I still wanted to go ahead with the oil change. Of course, I don’t want to get the oil change if I have to wait here two to three hours and have to come back in a couple of days and wait another two to three hours to get door seal repair. Why would I want to waste two mornings getting my car serviced? Call me when the part is in and I will make a new appointment.

This is when Sam explained that I really didn’t need an appointment. I should just come first thing in the morning. The dealership takes everyone on a first come first serve basis. The earlier you got there, the faster you were served. Then why does the dealership advise making appointments? Sam had the pitiful looks and shoulder shrugs down.

Can I, at least, get the trailer hitch recall taken care of today? No I actually could not. But I don’t have a trailer hitch. Just put a little tick in the box saying the trailer hitch recall has been taken care. No, he couldn’t look at, he couldn’t take my word for it, the recall team would have to take a look at it and they would have to tick the box saying the trailer hitch recall was complete.

I drove home having failed to complete any of the tasks I set out to do and also none the wiser on what I should do next time. Why make an appointment if it has nothing to do with when I will get serviced? Why tell them what I need to do when they won’t have the part when I arrive for my appointment that I really don’t need in the first place? Will the trailer hitch recall team take a few seconds to see that I don’t need a trailer hitch repair because I don’t have a trailer hitch?

But, any way.

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I received a bill the other day for $1,400 for a procedure performed on me in February. It was so long ago that I didn’t even remember having a procedure done in February or why. I went through my Insurance submission statements to refresh my memory. I couldn’t find anything that quite matched either the date the provider gave or the price they charged.

So I called United Healthcare’s (UHC) customer service. The agent also was unable to explain what was going on so she put me on hold as she needed to talk to a supervisor. One half hour later, she has an explanation. The provider didn’t submit their bill in a timely manner so UHC declined payment.

This was, in no way, a satisfactory explanation because the company was now billing me instead of the insurance company. She then helpfully suggested calling the provider and asking for them to resubmit. This made no sense to me. First, UHC declined payment because the provider had exceeded their deadline for submissions. Does resubmitting the bill put it through some time machine which then makes the bill be on time? Furthermore, why does the provider now think I am responsible for the bill? I didn’t submit the late bill and I didn’t decline payment of the bill. This, as far as I could see, had nothing to do with me at all. It was between UHC and the company billing them.

The agent was speechless for a few seconds as she didn’t have a canned reply for my question. These questions stunned her into silence. Finally, she managed to repeat her previous statement about asking the provider to resubmit. I explained to her that she could call the provider and tell them to resubmit herself as this had nothing to do with me. She was so silent that I had to interrupt her silence with a question, so if UHC declines payment again then UHC will tell the provider to stop billing me because they screwed up. More silence.

I tried a different approach. “So, I shouldn’t pay this bill because all the provider has to do is resubmit the bill and they will get paid.” More silence. Finally, the poor thing lamely offered that I should call the provider and ask them to resubmit their bill. I asked again, “And then they will get paid, right?” Silence. I asked, “what if UHC denies the payment again and the provider bills me again what should I do.” Again silence.

I asked to speak to a supervisor but before I was disconnected from her I asked her to make a note in my file that I am not paying this bill until I get an explanation. I did this because I rarely, if ever, get connected to a supervisor. I didn’t. Odd that because she had just spoken with one regarding my claim but then I image UHC supervisors are bombarded with agents asking questions. I was forced to leave a message. My experience with leaving a message with my insurance companies or any medical provider regarding a billing question is that I will never receive a call back and I haven’t. It now has been over 48 hours which is the time frame UHC gives for these return calls.

So to sum it up:

1.UHC declined to pay for my procedure because the provider failed to bill them in a timely fashion.

2. Because the provider didn’t get paid in a timely manner, they are now billing me.

3. UHC won’t do anything to help me. They expect me to contact the provider in order to resubmit their claim and won’t guarantee that this resubmission will result in payment.

4. Which is kind of shitty behavior because the provider did supply the service and they do have a contract with UHC. But OK, I get it, there has to be some deadlines for bill submission.

5. It is equally shitty that UHC expects me to do their legwork when I have nothing to do with the problem. They declined payment based upon guidelines that I assume their providers are aware of. It then becomes their responsibility to inform the provider to stop billing me as they didn’t follow UHC requirements for billing.

This took about 45 minutes of my time to have, at the end of this call, absolutely no resolution to my problem. I am certain that I have another long phone call with someone in the future. This is horrible customer service and very suspicious too. Why are they asking the provider to resubmit? If there are rules regarding submission, there are rules. If the provider didn’t follow these rules, then the provider doesn’t receive payment. It sounds like they are trying to get the provider to back down or for me to pay the bill. Does this mean if they get harassed enough by the provider and the customer that they will grudgingly pay.?

What did Luigi Mangione’s put on his bullets: Delay, deny and depose.

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I wait to pay medical bills because the first billing is almost always wrong. The medical office is waiting for an insurance payment, or a deduction based on some deal that the medical office has made with the insurance company which reduces my bill hasn’t been received, or, and this happens to me a regular basis, the bill is just wrong and the medical office will sort it out on about the third time it bills me. After all this to and fro with payments, I then jump in fairly confident that I am now dealing with the amount I owe.

Back in May, I started the process with one such bill and found that I owed $35. I could account for $15 but I couldn’t account for the other $20. I examined my bill and found the missing $20 but it was showing as a payment and not a debit. I called the office and explained my situation to a Customer Service representative. She went through the bill and saw the problem and instantly was confused. “It is in the wrong column.” My concern was what if it is in the right column but wasn’t deducted as it should have been and could she ascertain whether itr was a credit or a debit. She puts me on hold in order to talk to a supervisor. After about ten minutes she returns, she and her supervisor were unable to determine whether the $20 was a payment or a charge and she would need to investigate. She assured me that she would call me back. She did not.

So in June, I received another bill for $35. I again call Customer Service. This time I was unable to reach a representative. There were too many calls in the queue and my wait time would be something like a half of an hour. I was instructed to leave my phone number and a brief explanation of my problem and that I would get a return call within 48 hours. I never received a response.

In July, I received another bill for $35. I again called Customer Service. I again was unable to reach a representative and was told there would be a long wait before I could talk to one. I again left a message but added the number of futile attempts I had made to resolve this matter and how I would really appreciate a return phone call. No one called me.

I didn’t receive any bill in July, August or September. Thinking that the matter had been resolved, I waited to receive the bill for the correct amount – $15, instead, in October, I received a check for $35 with no explanation of how they determined they owed me this amount.

I am certain that I owed them $15 but now, at least I think this is true, I owe them nothing and they gave me $35 to boot. I can’t wait to see my next bill.

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The refrigerator’s ice machine stopped working. Bob called customer service to get help. The customer service department is located in a country where English is not the primary language. I have no objection to this as long as the person can speak English. Bob’s Customer Service agent was incapable of understanding what he needed and botched the information that Bob gave him. In order for the agent to understand the problem, Bob was forced into a back and forth where Bob corrected the agent’s frequent misunderstandings of what Bob was saying but Bob stuck with him in the hope that the agent would eventually get it right. Unfortunately, the Customer Service Rep got it wrong which required a second phone call to clarify the details. All which Bob had given in the previous call. A service call was arranged for a week down the road.

The refrigerator is brand new. Someone probably accidentally touched the wrong button and the ice machine got turned off. A service person will push the button and all will be good. The problem is that it took numerous phone calls, long waits for available Customer Service Reps, call backs and a long wait for service people. All this work, which will probably be resolved by a service person pushing the right button, in order for the ice machine to deliver ice. This is not good customer service.

Bad customer service doesn’t seem to trouble most companies. My eyes were opened to this twenty years ago when I had a friend who managed a customer service department. She didn’t have enough staff. This meant that anybody who called in had to wait in a queue, sometimes for longer than an hour, to actually talk to a Customer Service Rep. It got so bad that the corporate heads decided that a certain percentage of callers would get a busy signal. They weren’t even given the opportunity to wait for over an hour to speak to someone. They were just told to call back later. Now if management was getting more staff, a call back later might sound like a good option. But management had no intention of getting more staff. All they were offering was calling back at a later time to wait in a long queue or to be ignored. I repeat this is not good customer service.

Customer Service departments are almost always dealing with problems with the product or the service. Customer Service Reps are supposed to solve the problem and rescue the companies good name with the customer by doing so. This, at least in theory, is the whole reason for Customer Service departments. What we are getting now are long waits in phone queues, busy signals and a long conversation with someone who has difficulty even understanding what you’re saying. This shows you how interested companies are in resolving your problem. Not much.

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My doctor told me to get a home blood pressure machine because my blood pressure was borderline high. I could monitor it with this machine. Well, I can now tell him what is causing my blood pressure to go up — looking for a doctor.

All I want is an eye doctor. My old eye doctor doesn’t take medicare, so I must find a new one. I went to the Medicare web site. Or, at least, I thought I went to the right website. There are two large groups of physicians in San Diego — Scripps and Sharp. My medicare card says Mercy which I assumed belong to Scripps because you always hear Scripps Mercy. This may or may not be right because I couldn’t speak to an actual person, I was live chatting.

After a bit of to and fro with the live chat lady, I finally asked is this the right number for Mercy Physician Group. She helpfully replied, “Sort of” and gave me a CS service number where I can talk to an actual person. I called it and was told to leave my number and that somebody would call me back soon. Soon. I don’t like the sound of that but I left my number any way.

In the meantime I now know that the surest way to raise my blood pressure is to try to find a doctor in my plan. Not a total loss that.

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Our refrigerator, after 23 years of faithful service, died the other day.

Needing a replacement, Bob immediately found a new one. It’s a complicated and boring story but the crux of the matter is we can’t install the new one until we can detach our old one from the water system. A plumber has to do this and he needs a part. The installer said he can return when we know a date when this is completed. Bob has confirmed a date for the plumber.

All we need now is for the delivery people to come hook up the water for the new refrigerator and take the old one. The delivery man gave us a phone number and email address where we could contact them. Bob tried via email. No response. Bob then tried to call customer service. The recorded message informed him that he would wait an hour a customer service agent would answer. Thinking it had something to do with customer service being short staffed due to the 4th of July Holiday, he decided to wait until after the holiday. He called today very early in the day, and, received the same hour wait for an agent message. Customer Service doesn’t have enough agents when you start the day an hour behind. Given that we have heard nothing via email, I am willing to bet that no one is responding to emails and that our best bet is to wait an hour to speak with someone.

I recently had a similar experience while renting a car. We had to wait an hour and half in a line of more than 30 people to see a rental agent. There were two at the desk. Once we got our contract we went into another line to get our car. This desk had one person. We waited for 30 minutes in that line. At first, I thought a bunch of planes must have landed thus causing the long lines, but the line never got smaller, it had, in fact, got larger.

Of course, it isn’t the company’s fault. There aren’t enough good employees to do the job. They claim to be trying, but really are they? Management is always blaming labor for the lack of good employees. I invite you to look at this in a different way. Companies’ can’t find workers who are will do the job at the wage you are offering. They might have better luck if they paid more money.

Indeed, this is the way the market is supposed to operate. If something becomes more expansive to deliver, say oil for the sake of argument, then the market price goes up. So, when there is war in the Middle East or hurricanes in the Gulf of Mexico preventing the refining of oil, everyone accepts that prices of oil will go up. This is what we are told anyway.

Then doesn’t the same theory applies to wages. If it is difficult to find employees at a certain wage, then you need to raise the wage until you can acquire the number and quality of employees where you can deliver the product or service you are selling. American business is, for some reason, resistant to learning this simple straightforward lesson of Capitalism. If forced to choose between higher wages or delivering bad service, they will choose bad service every time in hopes that if they hold out long enough, the labor market will change in their favor.

In the mind of Business Managers, Labor is the whipping boy for all the failures of American Capitalism. If there are problems, it was bad employees. If budget cuts are necessary, where do you think they cut first. Cut the number of staff while trying to maintain the same workload. Cut benefits, raise deductibles on health insurance, do away with sick days. They brag about profits, they brag about price shares but rarely, if ever, do you hear them brag about paying the best wages in the industry. Which is odd because a customer might infer that by paying the best wages, your company also has the best people.

I can’t tell you how many Rah Rah end of the year speeches I’ve listened to where the corporate heads are blathering on about all the successes the company experienced — profits are up, share prices are up, efficiency is up, automation is up. They claim how they are the best in the industry for this and that. Then some brave employee broaches the subject of wages. The talking head has a ready answer. The company pays wages that are in line with the labor market. This sounds like collaboration to me. If they all know the standard wage, they can gauge their salaries appropriately. I thought this was illegal but never mind. For some reason this stops all conversation about wages.

Employees buy it. Until recently, I always did. I thought well what can I say to that — the company pays what is in line with every other company in the industry. But, wait, doesn’t the company want to be best at everything? Why wouldn’t the company want to have the best wages as well? In almost 40 years of working, I have never heard a company head brag that they offer the best wages in their industry. They may say a lot of wonderful things about their employees, they may even believe what they say but they rarely brag about the wages. they are paying. Curious that, don’t you think?

Which brings me back to the extra refrigerator clogging up our kitchen. This effects customer service. Because lower paid employees are the most likely staff to work with actual customers, this lack of good employees has a detrimental effect on a customer’s experience. If you can’t afford to pay good employees you are also ensuring that, at least some of your customers, will have a bad experience. Companies are hoping that most of this will be handled through better automation, the problem is that if any hiccups occur and a human needs to get involved, the company almost guaranteeing a bad experience. Let me tell you if I have to wait an hour when I call a customer service department, I have already had a bad experience. I have had to wait an unreasonable amount of time. By the time the poor customer service agent answers, I am fuming and ready to quarrel. So, the underpaid sap might begin to think — I don’t get paid enough to this crap.

And around and around she goes.

By on

I received $700 tax refund from California last year. Uncle Sam never got a chance to tax it so they wanted a chance this year. I needed a 1099 tax form from the state of California about this money in order to file my federal taxes. This is a tax form that California distributes by the millions each year. They have a record of it, they have the form prepared, they probably already sent it to me, I just can’t locate it. Sounds like a simple transaction. Well, you would be wrong. It took me a day and half of increasingly frustrating communication with the California Franchise Tax board who, I might add, did very little to assist me.

I first went to their web site. All Customer Service queries these days must start on line. If you don’t start on line, you will be reminded constantly to do so. Their recording will tell you that it is easier and faster. Although this hasn’t always been my experience this seemed like an easy enough request that an on line solution seemed perfectly reasonable. All I wanted was a tax document that millions of Californians receive every year. The document is already created and waiting for me. Of course, the website was a confusing array of options and explanations. After about half hour of reading, I was able to learn that I could have instant access to my tax documents if I created a personal profile for the site.

All right then, I tried to create a user ID and password. Except that somewhere in the distant past I must have already created a user ID because the website messaged me that my email address already had a user ID and password. Great. I check my list of user IDs and passwords which, before you tell me, I realize is not a secure way to deal with passwords. But damnit, I’ve tried to synchronize my User ID’s and passwords across all web sites I used. Honestly. Please believe me but they became out of sync almost instantaneously because some sites require frequent changes in the passwords, or won’t allow you to use the same password, all for very real security reasons although I am sure a seasoned hacker can get into my accounts faster than I can so what is the point. Any way I was in a bind because I didn’t remember my password or ID for the California Franchise Tax Board.

What’s a person to do? Well, I went to the link called “Forgot your used ID or Password.” The California Franchise Tax Board outsourced their security questions to a credit check company. These are not questions like your mother’s maiden name. They are questions like did you live at the following street address in 1979. I muddled through the first two questions. I was kind of proud that I could remember my university days address. The last question, however, stumped me. It gave a list of last names and asked me to put a check mark by all the names I have used to get credit. Since most of the names were not Fitzpatrick, I thought this would be simple. I was wrong. On the list was a version of Fitzpatrick but badly misspelled something like Ifitzaptrck. I have had my name misspelled before on a credit card but never recalled it being that badly misspelled so I didn’t check it and, because of that, I then failed the security check. They would need me to send me the my user ID and password through the mail. Why this is safer, eludes me, but I couldn’t ask anyone to explain.

Increasingly frustrated, I noticed that there was an on line chat. I always try the chat before calling because modern customer service departments discourage phone conversations at all costs. They want you to use web sites and on line tools. They have invested a lot of money into technology that prevents you from actually talking to someone and damnit they are going to make sure you use it. I started my chat with an explanation of my very simple need — a tax document verifying I received money from California. The customer service agent who responded to my chat gave me a phone number I should call and that department would help me with my request. I was delighted to hear. They want me to call them. I will talk to a person who will realize that this is a simple request, the person will push a few buttons and I will get my document. Again, I was wrong.

The phone tree announcement was the most complicated phone tree I have ever encountered with minutes of explanation and options and warnings to listen carefully because their options have changed recently. I focused completely on my options. I heard what I thought was my option, I pressed the button which sent me into another phone tree with even more options. I picked one of them and I went to another phone tree, so I kept pressing options until, and I have no rational explanation for what happened so don’t ask me, I found myself back at the introductory announcement giving me the same long explanation and the same numerous buttons to press. I tried pressing different buttons to see if this would connect me with an actual person. It didn’t. No matter what I did, the phone tree sent me back to the introductory message. So I started screaming agent, customer service, operator and any other word I could think of that might cause a human being to answer my query. I waited and waited, my screams turned into whimpers and eventually a recorded message came on telling me I hadn’t made a valid choice, thanking me for my call and disconnecting me. I tried two other times — always ending with them disconnecting me.

So, I decided to try the chat line to see if they can help me either a better phone number or just send me the damn forms. My chat agent told me that I needed to call the phone number I had just called to receive the document. I explained that nobody is answering. She said try first thing in the morning as there won’t be as much competition for customer service agents. I said answering isn’t the problem, the phone tree never gives me an agent to speak with. It always disconnects me. She insisted I had to call back. I asked if she could give my number to someone who could call me back. She said I had to call directly as they had to verify I could request the form besides she was only supposed to answer simple questions. All I wanted was one measly document that I know they send to millions of Californians every year. What could be more simple than that. Apparently she disagreed because she disconnected my chat.

I decided to give up and try calling in the morning. For some reason, again I have no rational explanation of why, I press a bunch of buttons successfully and instead of going back to first announcement, it takes me to a living breathing human being. After a bunch of questions about what she would see on my tax form — middle initial, my address, etc. — she relents and decides to send me the tax document I wanted but I would have to wait for U.S. Mail to deliver it. I ask how long I would have to wait. She said 14 days. This is cutting it close for the day taxes are due (OK, so yeah that one is my fault. I own it). I asked if she could send a PDF copy to me immediately instead. She pauses. I don’t think she knows what a PDF document is. Instead of allowing me to explain, she tells me I have to wait for the document in the mail, thanks me, and then disconnects.

This is terrible customer service:

  1. It is makes the customer do all of the work.
  2. If a person is calling, they have probably tried the website and the chat line, they need to talk to someone. Give them an easy option that allows them to talk to someone.
  3. If you are telling people a better time to call is in the morning, you are acknowledging you don’t have enough employees and that you deliver terrible customer service. Why do I have to call in the morning to get an agent to talk with me? It doesn’t exactly inspire confidence in your service.
  4. Making them run through a phone tree that gives long explanation of how to use the system says your phone tree is too complicated for the average person to plow through. It is confusing and frustrating.
  5. Saying that your website, chat line, and phone service are quick and easy doesn’t make it so. The customer makes that decision not you. Stop messaging that the customer might have better luck with web site or on line chat. It is irritating. The only person who is getting quick and easy service in this scenario is the Customer Service Department.
  6. If a person says they are having trouble with your system, help the customer. The system isn’t going to work for everyone. Don’t force a frustrated person to continue to use a system that clearly isn’t working for them. Yes, the customer may be a technophobe but then they are still a customer and they still need help. Making them even more frustrated is helping your reputation as a business and certainly isn’t providing the customer with any service.

So there.

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