We have two cats — Chloe and Cisco. When we first got them, Cisco would finish first and then nudge Chloe away from her bowl. This didn’t seem to bother here and she would pretty much surrender her food to Cisco. Bob got into the habit of standing in between them so Chloe wouldn’t be bullied away from her share of the food.
Bob proved to be a successful block to Cisco. Cisco stopped trying to bully Chloe away from her bowl. What is weird is that the no longer harassed Chloe can eat her meal without Cisco’s looming presence threatening her but now she always, and I mean always, leaves a little of her meal for Cisco. How did they come to this arrangement?
I am told that in every living situation with more than one animal that there is an Alpha who takes over. Cisco is definitely bigger and stronger than Chloe but she is smarter, faster and more athletic. She can get away from him with ease. Despite this somewhat equal distribution of talents, Cisco is still the boss. But why? Who told them?
It baffles me that they have come to an agreement about this. It seems to work for them but the process is a mystery. Surely, on occasion she comes across a food that she likes more than the others and wouldn’t she want to eat her full bowl — just because she likes it more. But, no every single time, she leaves Cisco something. The mystery of nature.
Bob and I recently adopted two young cats. They had been living outside for awhile but weren’t feral. They came as a pair because Chloe was attached to her brother Cisco and it would be difficult to separate them. So we brought home Chloe and Cisco.
Cisco is a hulk. Think a lineman on a football team. He has a really thick neck with a bushy lion’s mane. He is a bit of bully with Chloe, at least, at first he was. Chloe followed Cisco around everywhere he went and I think the constant attention annoyed him after awhile and he would lash out at her to leave him alone. She also thought they could play together so he would surprise attack him from time to time. We tolerated the ensuing chase through the house which usually ended with a wrestling match. Our idea was that they needed to work out their relationship between the two of them. If Chloe hissed for help, we would rescue here but otherwise they rolled around for a few minutes until the nimble Chloe wiggled her way out of trouble.
Chloe eventually was able to get her social needs met from us and the fights between them lessened. The only contentious time left is dinner time when Cisco, who gobbles his food quickly, nudges the more leisurely eating Chloe away from her food bowl. Bob, concerned that Chloe isn’t getting her fair share of the food, stands guard while Chloe eats. This allows for Chloe to get to the half way point with her food before Cisco pushes her out of the way.
The problem is that Cisco also bullies us. He harasses us for people food while we are eating. We have learned from previous cats to never give cats people food. If you ever do, the cats won’t leave you alone while you eat. They want to know what you are eating and whether they can have a bite. I could put up with it if they confined this unruly behavior to just us but it is embarrassing when there are guests over and the cats leap on to the table to make a food grab. In the past we would lie and say this is so strange as this never happens with the two of us when it actually happens on a daily basis.
We decided early on that Cisco and Chloe would not get people food, particularly from the table while we were eating. It worked for Chloe. She learned pretty quickly that begging wasn’t going to get her anywhere and, for the most part has given up on begging for food. She will occasionally slip if she smells something particularly good but once turned down, she will stop begging. Cisco, on the other hand, doesn’t even beg, he plops is paw down on your plate as a first move in his food grab. And will not take no for an answer. Fortunately for us, he isn’t very quick and we are able to block his grabs without him getting anything of value.
However, food left unattended on the counter is extremely vulnerable. Just today Bob put out some packaged tortillas on the counter for our dinner. Since they were packaged and a non-animal protein product, we thought they were safe. Cisco thought otherwise. He bit and clawed his way through the packaging until the tortillas were free for him to nibble on. As far as he is concerned, he has the right to inspect any food item that comes into the house and taste to see if it is something he likes. Our experience with over 50 years of living with cats led us to believe that threats and screams would scare the normal cat away from any nefarious activity. Cisco is unmovable even if we run towards him while yelling no loudly. He just dares you to make him move and remains seated until he is removed from the counter. He is either too dim to understand that we are angry with him and he should flee the counter or he just doesn’t give a damn what we think. I suspect it is the later
Bob and I try to reassert our alphaness but Cisco isn’t surrendering the alpha mantel without a fight. Lately, his singular claim to the alpha tile was strengthned when he took over Bob’s favorite chair. Now Bob looks wistfully at his chair and mutters, “I wish I could have my chair back.” I tell Bob to move Cisco but Bob knows there will be a struggle and he isn’t sure who will come out with the prize. Losing to a cat would be a terrible blow to Bob’s ego. How could we show our faces at the White Party if people knew a cat took down Bob? The loser would certainly have to leave in shame and, right now, Cisco is the odds on favorite to retain the chair.
I try to meditate about 10 minutes each day. I call it meditating for lack of a better word. My best description is sitting quietly and concentrating on my breathing when my mind wanders. My aim is to bring peace to the start of my day.
Everything started great. That was until Emily, one of my cats, noticed me sitting there and decided to irritate me. I meditate just outside our bathroom. Emily is finicky about drinking water. She insists on drinking directly from the tap in our tub. No other way method works for her. When she sees anyone near the bathroom, she rushes to the tub and cries. Not meows, they are long grating cries that continue until someone turn on the tap.
I tried ignoring her. Really I did. I swear. I am pretty good at winning battles with her when I am doing things like laundry or reading the internet or watching TV. I will ignore or yell at her until she stops. In this case, her cries defeat the whole purpose of peace and quiet. I can’t center myself when I spend the whole time angrily thinking why doesn’t that damn cat stop crying. So I have incorporated turning on the tap as a part of my meditation and Emily became very co-operative.
Until that is she decided that she wanted to get in my lap after drinking from the tap. I sit in an office chair that safely accommodates my ass and not much else. This would work if Emily were a lap cat but she isn’t. She is sitting by the human cat. An open lap won’t do at all. She also needs a fairly significant landing space before she will venture a leap. She didn’t have a place on the chair and no room to jump. So she cried.
Again, I tried ignoring her but she was relentless. In frustration, I moved to the couch that gives her ample landing room for her leaps and a space next to me for her to sit while I meditated.
All was fine until she decided I should be petting her while she was there. She nudged my hand with her head. I can’t believe it. I have done everything to start my day peacefully why won’t this cat just leave me alone for 10 minutes. She won’t. How can you find inner peace when a pet-demanding cat is head butting your hand. You can’t, so I now spend some of my mediation time petting Emily until she is happy just to sit next to me.
Which worked but lately Molly, our other cat, spied Emily and I on the couch. She sometimes joins us on the couch. This wouldn’t be a problem except that Molly is a lap cat and in order to get to my lap she has to climb over Emily to get to me. This annoys Emily who, I might add, is a lot less accommodating than me in regards to irritations. She hisses and bats at Molly in a very unwelcoming way. This goes on until I break it up.
In order to stop the fighting, I move to the center of the couch which allows Emily to get on one side and Molly to maneuver on to my lap without walking over Emily. We now all sit quietly for ten minutes.
This works for now.
Until it doesn’t work and then I will have to deal with whatever new irritation the girls bring my way.
Peace and quiet will only come when I make peace with my irritations. Those cats are so Zen.
Mind Stewing, Fingers Typing 