Apparently it is a problem if someone, particularly some you know, or even worse, a close family member names their child the name you were going to give your future baby. Some people believe that their unique names for babies (see here and here here) are their’s and their’s alone. And, if you told someone the name you like and then that person uses that name before you can have your child, it is an act of personal betrayal that requires, at least, a shouting match and, at worst, permanently exiling the offending friend from your presence.

I find it difficult to have much sympathy for these parents. Perhaps it is because I grew up during a time when everyone basically rotated the same names generation to generation. Having a couple of Tom’s in my class was never a big worry because there was always another Tom in my class. My parents didn’t think that they were going to be the only ones to use Tom, so when they heard that other parent’s named their child Tom, their reaction was more good name, we liked it too and not how dare you use a name that I was destined to give my child and you have ruined my life and the life of my child by using my name for your child.

Now names are carefully guarded secrets because there are uncreative people out there who will steal your baby name if you give them a chance. Never give them that chance, people will tell you they can’t give you the name of their impeding child even though they know the name because You might reveal it to their cousin Amelia who is due a month earlier than you and would think nothing of poaching your name if she liked it. This, even though, you don’t know anybody in her circle of friends and would probably never talk about baby names again for a very long time to come. The worst case scenario here is that there might be two kids with the name Aloysius. Is that really so bad?