I don’t like to change technology, upgrade or do anything to make my application new and improved. It annoys me mostly. I only need a rudimentary version of any application which means that any upgrade I get is something I don’t care about and it will somehow interfere with what I do like. Because I don’t like messing with new technology, if I must change, give it a few days and, if I can figure out the few things I want to do, I adopt the upgrade, otherwise, I just give up on it and never use the application again. I know I shouldn’t give up but I would rather read an old paperback novel or play with a deck of cards or write or do any non-technological activity than spend hours trying to figure out to manage this upgrade.

So I was worried when my Kindle died. I tried desperately to revive her but her battery simply wouldn’t recharge anymore. I finally surrendered to the inevitable and let her go to the great technology afterlife in the bottom drawer of my desk. The Kindle dying on that particular day was dire as I hadn’t finished my book for book club and the meeting was imminent. Bob saved the day. He has a lot of old technology laying around the house and he happened to have an old Kindle I could use. Wait by old, I meant it was old for him, it was, unfortunately, newer than my old Kindle. I was delighted to learn that without much effort I could still do the two things I demanded of Kindle which was read my book and read internet news.

Life was good until later that same day, I tried to play Spider. For those of you who don’t know, Spider is a computer game that is version of Solitaire. If you don’t know Solitaire, I don’t know what to say. I can’t explain it easily but I am sure you can Google it and get a much better description of the game than I can ever give. Sorry. Any way, back to Spider, Spider is my meditation, my morning prayer, my evening prayer, my centering device. I play it twice each day. Once when I get up in the morning and once again before I go to sleep at night. Spider was important to me.

So, of course, this is where my new Kindle began to falter. Wait, not falter, it failed. It was, in fact, God damn annoying. Every time I logged in I got an advertisement, and all right, I understand, I am getting Spider for free, I will gladly glance at your ad as I am clicking the X and getting out of the unwanted ad and to Spider. My old Kindle displayed an before I was able to play so this was nothing I couldn’t handle. Or so I thought. This new version cleverly hid the X to get you out of the screen. I swear this is true because I have seen it about a thousand times now and the X always eludes me. I search and search and the only symbol I can find is an arrow pointing to the left. I click on it and it takes me to the internet where a new game appears on my screen. A game I don’t want to play.

There is one particular game that I don’t know why anyone would play which my explain the assiduous need for the company to advertise for it. The game has young woman being kicked out of her house by her no good boyfriend. He is usually kissing on his new girlfriend in front of her. She burst into tears and leaves without a place to go until she finds shelter in a derelict house. The object of the game is to make the house livable for her. The game gives you a few choices to repairs you might make and you need to choose the right one to continue playing. For example you might have to choose between new windows or coal for a fire. Sometimes she has a small child which only adds to the fun if you make the wrong choice as the child begins to cry and shake from the cold. Some masochist must have thought this would be a great game to play but I am think it is dreadful.

Any way, I obviously would rather play Spider than the fix up the house game but again there is no X to get out of the game. The only button I can find is one the loads the application on to my Kindle. I have loaded new games on to my Kindle numerous times. I finally figured out that I can just exit the game through the settings and log in again to Spider which sometimes work and sometimes takes me through the whole process again. On rare occasions it takes me through the whole fucking process a third or fourth time before I get to Spider. But at what price I ask. My peace has been trifled with, my day has been ruined and my night time relaxation has turned to aggravation.

I am sorry to take this out on you, dear Readers, but it needed to be said. Perhaps you can write to your Congressperson on this important matter.