I became sad after reading about this group that discourages young men from masturbating. For some reason, these young men want to stop masturbating and watching porn. I get there is such a thing as sexual addiction and that it is a bad thing to have your life taken over by it. On the other hand, it seems a bit unrealistic to completely cut sexual imagery and masturbation out of young man’s life. This treatment for sexual addiction seems close to how an heroin addict is treated as opposed to someone with a food addiction. You don’t tell people with weight issues that you can never eat again, why would you do this with sex. More importantly, it is wrong to make these young men feel so bad about any backsliding that they feel suicidal and depressed. An interest in sex is, after all, quite natural for most men.

Also, it is natural for most young men, at some point, to become totally obsessed with sex. I know I was. During this extremely short time in a man’s life, he will, particularly if he lacks a sex partner, indulge in a lot of porn and masturbating which might lead him to think he is some kind of pervert because he thinks non-stop about sex and, as a result, spends a great deal of time with his hand. This short-lived obsession passes all too quickly and most men will find a balance between their sexual interests and all the other aspects of his life. This is also quite natural.

These anti-masturbation groups want men to quit masturbation completely which seems unrealistic and counter-productive. Human beings have sexual urges that require some attention. For men not in a sexual relationship, masturbation and pornography seems like the most reasonable solution to address this strong desire. For a short time, young men might be singleminded about masturbation but it changes as they get older. Until then, how does giving up masturbation make the young man’s situation any better? It doesn’t stop him from having sexual thoughts. Wouldn’t it be better for him to just to rub one out so that he can return, at least for a few moments, to Algebra II?

What concerns me is the anti-sexual tone of these movements. Masturbation is a problem and must be stopped. Looking at sexual imagery is wrong and must be stopped. Neither is likely to happen and making men feel bad about their very nature isn’t likely to help men move to more balanced sexual life. The aim, as I see it, is how do we incorporate a healthy sexual interest into a man’s life and not eliminating sex from his life.