Category: Gay

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When I finished reading Peachy Keenan “Everyone is gay, can you blame them?” I got a sinking feeling it my stomach. Keenan was using satire to describe what she sees as a problem with modern academia. She is trying to explain why 40 % of the student body of Brown calls themselves Bisexual/Gay/Trans. She says being Gay or Trans is the in thing to be right now and thus the only way to get ahead, particularly in a weird Ivy League school such at Brown, is to say you are gay or, if you really want to grab power, get a sexual reassignment surgery.

Maybe there is a giggle or grin here. There is also something more worrisome and insidious — Gay and Trans people have power and you better bow down to them in order to get ahead. This is false. Most gays are not in a position of power. Most college students are still heterosexual with little evidence that this is changing. There is no reason to be worried about the Brown survey. Gays do not want to make your children gay. Gays do not want your children changing their gender. The problem with satire is there are people who get it and people who don’t. There is the danger that the ones who don’t will believe that Gays are all powerful and need to be stopped. Once you have a culprit, then the humorless can remove the culprit from power.

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Billy Eichner’s recent gay RomCom called Bros failed to pull in the box office revenue it was expected to. Eichner went on to complain that there was some homophobic backlash against the film. I am sure there is something to that but I am also pretty sure that billing it as a RomCom may have had more to do with it. RomComs are not for everyone — particularly straight men. That’s why RomComs are also know as Chick Flicks. They simply appeal to women more than men.

I, for example, am bored by action pictures. I found the Bourne films a terrific bore — one long chase scene without any plot whatsoever. At least that was my opinion, however, many other people loved the movie and they went to in droves. So if you invited me to a Gay Action film, I probably will decline because it is just something I am not interested in. I find it difficult to believe that any of the straight men I know would willingly attend a RomCom movie, much less a gay RomCom. It has nothing to do with gay either and everything to do with RomCom.

So I don’t think it particularly fair for Eichner to complain about homophobia. He could be correct, but, it is just as likely, that he is wrong. There is no way of knowing until someone digs deeper and asks why didn’t you see this movie. Until then, I think we should give the audience the benefit of the doubt and accept the fact that a lot of straight men don’t want to see RomComs.

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Early polling for the November elections look bad for the Democrats. The economy is suffering from inflation and the Democrats are in charge. They are going to get the blame. It is frustrating and familiar. I, also, can accept that.

If the Democrats must go down to defeat, let’s lose on issues that matter to the general population and avoid the trap the Republicans are setting with peripheral issues. Democrats should focus on abortion rights, gun control and health care. Issues they still can lose on, but issues that could pull in enough voters to win.

But to lose on Don’t Say Gay, Defund the Police or correct pronoun use would be senseless mistake.

I am gay. I see the importance of it being able to say gay in school. The Republicans didn’t frame it that way — they said we just don’t want sexuality being discussed in the classroom. Because Gov DeSantis cleverly eluded to not wanting to talk about trans or gay sex, opponents of the law came up with the slogan Don’t Say Gay. Which is exactly the chant DeSantis wants protesters saying. I expect most people would scratch their heads and ask why do they want to say Gay to a 2nd grader. This isn’t the impression we want to give. What we mean is if a 2nd Grader sees another kid with two Moms or two Dads that the teacher can give an explanation suitable for a 2nd Grader. There just isn’t an easy way to say something so nuanced in a slogan but I can assure you that Don’t Say Gay misses the mark.

The same complaint can be said for Defund the Police. When people hear that they think that you want to end all police protection. That isn’t it at all. Defund the Police is about moving resources to people who can better handle different situations. Police now are saddled with an array of responsibilities other than crime fighting. A lot of these problems would be better handled by mental health professionals or social workers. This would allow the police to focus on crime while also hopefully stopping these situations from getting violent. Try to make a slogan out of that. But Defund the Police isn’t it. If you have to constantly explain why you want to do away with the police, then your slogan is terrible, it is alienating potential voters and you should stop using it. Immediately.

This brings me to personal pronouns. When I first started reading about the pronoun issue I had no idea what people were talking about. What was a pronoun? I know I learned about them many years ago but, for the life of me, why were they creating such a fuss. After I reacquainted myself with what pronoun was, my first thought is why are we even talking about this. The first time someone introduced their pronouns along with their name to me, I was baffled. Why is she saying she/her after her name? Then I recalled that this was part of the new way to introduce yourself. You give your name and your personal pronouns. But is middle America actually buying this? Are they going to vote for a candidate that wants to put the proper use of person’s pronoun as a priority issue. Yes, people should honor people’s preferences on their pronouns, however is it worth losing an election over? I am emphatically no on this one.

In order to run government, political parties have to win elections. Given the political structure of the United States, this means getting votes across a large and diverse country. Now you may not like it. You may think the Electoral College and the Senate give too much power to smaller rural states and is unfair to larger urban states. I happen to agree with you. However the system is the system. It doesn’t change because you don’t like it. That means we have to live with it until we can change it. The only way to change the system is to win elections. This means biting your tongue when necessary in order to concentrate on the issues that will bring as many voters to your candidate as possible.

Political parties can choose which battles to fight. Just because Republicans are laying traps for the Democrats to fall in, doesn’t mean we have to be fooled. Let’s not go down to defeat over personal pronouns when we can focus on abortion or gun control or better health care. Issues we might be able to persuade enough voters to win. Losing this election, particularly at this dangerous time, is irresponsible and I am afraid that the Democrats might be doing that.

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Governor DeSantis thinks that Florida teachers are in the business of sexual indoctrination. It isn’t happening but it’s scaring a lot of people needlessly which is precisely what DeSantis wants.

The most important thing to remember is that it isn’t happening. But instead of saying this over and over again, the people who oppose this law are saying “Don’t Say Gay.” But what is meant here is that a teacher might have to explain to a 2nd grader why Johnny has two mommies. What I fear some parents are thinking instead is why on earth do teachers need to say gay to 2nd graders. Let me repeat yet again, no one is explaining the joys of gay sex to 2nd Graders, or any sex, for that matter. It is a divisive political tool and nothing more. The law is not giving children any extra protection from being indoctrinated because no one is trying to indoctrinate them.

If there was indoctrination going on, and I can’t say this often enough — there isn’t, it would fail miserably. If your child identifies as a heterosexual, then no amount of indoctrination will change that. None. Zero. Nada. It will not happen.

The reason I know that is, as a gay man, I went through years of heterosexual indoctrination and still turned out gay. Even though the whole social structure I grew up in supports heterosexual relationships, even though the art I saw idealized heterosexual love, even though the religion I grew up only recognized heterosexual marriage, despite the fact the almost everyone I knew was heterosexual and I desperately wanted to heterosexual, I turned out gay.

There was also a strong social stigma against being gay. I grew up with a very real fear, unfounded thankfully, that every person I know and loved could turn against me if the learned I was gay. I could be fired from jobs for being gay. I could be arrested for being gay. Straight boys could get away with beating up a gays by saying the gay guy made a pass at him. Or the gay guy wouldn’t press charges because he somehow felt he deserved it. Still, despite all of the social support for heterosexuality and all the social pressure against being gay, I turned out gay.

You can’t make someone gay. Overbearing mothers don’t make you gay nor does distant fathers nor does playing with dolls or being a tomboy or any of a million different explanations. Right now, the only explanation, and I hate to quote Lady Gaga here, is that people are born that way and thus unable to change no matter how hard you try. This would also mean that heterosexuals are born that way as well. No amount of indoctrination is going to change someone’s sexual identity.

For DeSantis to claim that the Florida schools have been turned into sexual indoctrination centers is more than a little disingenuous. He is using gays, a group that doesn’t vote for him and is proportionately a small part of the Florida electorate, as a straw man. He wants to frighten parents into thinking that Florida teachers are trying to make their children gay or transgender.

I would ask him what the Florida teachers are actually doing to indoctrinate children.

Are they telling heterosexual children they are going to Hell just because they are heterosexual?

Are they forcing conversion therapy on heterosexual children? Which is, by the way, still legal in Florida and he supports. Parents can force their children to undergo this therapy against the wishes of the child. I am curious does this mean it would be OK for a parent to use conversion therapy on their heterosexual child to make them gay? If a parent can dictate their child’s preferred sexual identification, why not?

Are they forcing heterosexual children to take medication that makes them vomit when they see heterosexual pornography so that the child will learn to hate heterosexual sex? Or do they use electric shock therapy to stop children from being aroused by heterosexual sex?

Do they punish boys who like to play with trucks? What about girls who like to play with dolls?

If DeSantis really wanted to stop the indoctrination of children’s sexual identity, he might ponder making conversion therapy illegal and let the Florida teachers get back to their actual jobs of teaching reading, writing and arithmetic.

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Governor DeSantis is pulling the Democrats into an impossible argument with his “Don’t Say Gay” law. DeSantis claims he is trying to protect children from homosexual indoctrination. Democrats say he is preventing teachers from even saying the word Gay in the classroom. Think about the words here. DeSantis is talking about children, protection and indoctrination. Democrats are saying Gay. The optics on this are terrible. The Republicans look like they are trying to protect children from learning about sex before they are ready. Democrats look like they want teachers to talk about Gay relationships. Now, ask your average parent what they want for their children?

DeSantis’ law is vague and nearly impossible to enforce. What is and is not sexual indoctrination is never defined, so this little baby will be in the Florida courts for years to come as martyr teachers and wingnut parents duke it out. In reality, very little will happen as Republicans want you to believe that teachers are introducing the joys of sodomy to small children. This is not happening. Since no one is indoctrinating children in the first place, this law is unnecessary and should be pretty easy to comply with. At its worst, it stifles communication between teachers and students if a child raises the topic of homosexuality. This means that teachers will have to be more circumspect when these issues arise in the classroom. This is sad and incredibly unhelpful to children who may have these concerns.

But, as far as giving children any additional protection from indoctrination, this bill fails to do anything meaningful because teachers are not trying to indoctrinate their charges into homosexuality. This should be obvious to every sane Floridian. The gay population is, at best, 10% of the American population, more conservative estimates peg it a 5%; the transgender population is much smaller coming in at less than 1%. Assuming that Florida’s population mirrors the American estimates, why would 90% of Florida teachers be teaching little Floridians to be gay? It makes absolutely no sense because it isn’t happening.

People have been trying for years to change Gay children into heterosexuals. These children get years of heterosexual indoctrination and they desperately want to change, and yet they can’t change. If straight indoctrination doesn’t work to change someone’s sexual inclinations, why would Gay indoctrination? So DeSantis’ argument that the entire teaching establishment is engaged in a conspiracy to create gay and transgender people is beyond absurd.

On the other hand, DeSantis has cleverly forced the Democrats into defending Gays in the hopes that one of these defenders will stumble into some gaffe that the Republicans can use in campaign ads. Sadly, it is working. Democrats are taking the bait and wanting everyone to say Gay. While the intention is good, teacher should be able to say Gay in the classroom, it is giving a wrong impression on what teachers are doing in the classroom. Again, teachers are not drawing diagrams of the pleasures of gay sex for 2nd graders, they, however, may have to explain to a class why Johnny has two Moms. These are two distinctly different actions. One, which most parents would agree, is something that might occur and needs explanation; the other isn’t happening at all. However what the Democrats are embedding into the public’s mind is that the Democrats want to talk about Gay relationships in schools.

DeSantis has created a problem where there was none to begin with. He denies that the law stops teachers from saying Gay. Time will tell. But lets disabuse ourselves of the notion he doesn’t want people saying Gay. He loves it. Say Gay every chance you get. Gay. Gay. Gay. Say it loudly. Say it clearly. Say it so the news media blasts it on television every night. He is betting that the 90% heterosexual population is, at best, ambivalent about saying Gay in the classroom and, at worst, actually opposed to it. In the meantime, every time a Hollywood star says don’t say Gay, some middle class straight people are thinking why exactly do they want to say Gay in front of 2nd graders? This is not the argument the Democrats want to be having.