First it is important to know that I hate the color orange. It hurts my eyes every time I see it. So the above shirt had one strike against it to begin with. But, upon closer inspection, it just gets worse. Orange, as I have said, is a problem for me but the combination of green, white and orange is ghastly. Then the patterns are inconsistent in a way that makes the shirt look poorly put together. You have orange line running down the left side of the shirt surrounded by squares, except for the one section where the buttons are which looks like a sideways Utah and gives the appearance of being wonky and amateurish. This is a horrible looking shirt that I can only see senior golfers wearing when the nicer shirts are at the bottom of the dirty cloths basket. A definite no from me.

How long will it take to get into this apparatus? Seriously. I am used to pulling up my underwear in one fairly quick tug. The straps, that pouch, this is going to take some time to assemble, don’t you think? You just can’t tell a lover that you are going to slip into something a bit more comfortable and come out an hour later in this. You might find a sleeping partner.

Even if you do manage to get it on, how long will it take to get it off. A teenage boy struggling with a bra would have better luck than someone who is entrapped in this. Imagine an erect member is such a small pouch and multiple straps to release. The mind boggles on how difficult this would be to disentangle in a moment of passion. Talk about your mood killer.

Then there is the faux bra, why? The whole structure of the garment resembles a bra more so than a leather harness. I have nothing against bras but really not a good look for a guy trying to capture a more masculine look. The delicate shoulder straps, the bottom strap offering support, the top strap revealing cleavage. Look at it and tell me you don’t think bra. And, although ultimately less important for the throes of passion, I imagine getting in and out, particularly in a pinch, might be a struggle as well.

I can see only frustration and confusion for the couple who decides to make this fashion choice.

This little number came across from the Cheap Undies store.

No. No. No. No. A thousand times no. Seriously if this very attractive young man slipped into my bedroom wearing this ensemble, my laughing would first kill his ardor and I don’t think I could restrain my own laughter long enough to recapture mine. Maybe, and this is a very soft maybe here, if the strap hanging from his neck were made of leather I would give it a second look but even then I’m doubtful. No. Just no. No and more nos. It’s like he is wearing a very long and ugly neck tie tucked into his underwear. This is a mockery of male sexiness.

In the last week, I have see two advertisements where the model is touching his junk. I am not sure why this particular pose has gained such popularity but I’ve begun to see it more frequently. Now I enjoy see a good looking man as much as the next guy, well, maybe not the next guy but as much as the next person who might find scantily clad young men attractive, and I don’t mean to sound like a prude but I know I will but is this really the best pose to sell underwear? It makes me think that the underwear must be uncomfortable or binding because they need to rearrange their junk. I mean that is usually the reason I would be feeling my junk. Not exactly, the idea that the advertiser wants the potential customer to have. Or has holding your junk taken on a new meaning that I am unaware of? Honestly, these two gents can get away with it but I am pretty sure I would be arrested if I attempted this. Finally I love the word junk when it is used to describe male genitalia.