I have to give Donald Trump credit for one thing — I am a much better citizen than I was in 2016. Before that, I paid attention to elections to the extent that I read the newspapers and made my decisions based on what I learned. But that was pretty much it. I didn’t worry much about Republicans winning elections. I may have been a little disappointed but that was the extent of my feelings. Life went on and, more importantly, democracy went on without getting much more input from me.

Now I pay attention. I think maybe I pay too much attention. I have to review every poll for every Senate race to see who is ahead. I know the candidates for every close Senate race in the country. Ask me this 20 years ago and I would be hard pressed to supply this information.

This isn’t a bad thing. Trump may be our punishment for taking democracy for granted. Thinking that all I had to do is just show up every election and everything would be find. I realize there are people who should just not hold office and I need to pay attention better which isn’t a bad lesson to learn.

But is is also driving me a bit crazy. Compulsive reading of poll numbers isn’t exactly easing my mind. I wonder. Are these correct? Polls have been wrong in the past, what if these are wrong now? How are we going to get through another couple years of the mad man Trump?

It is making me anxious and my anxiety can’t be quelled by thinking the Democrats look good and might win. Because, then, I start thinking about what revenge will Trump take on the country then.

So, at least until November 4, I will be anxious. Forgive me ahead of time if I am cranky for the next month or so.