There is this horror movie trope where someone hears a noise and then goes to investigates. At this point, everyone watching the movie knows that investigating the noise is a big mistake, mostly because the background music is building the suspense so the audience knows this isn’t going to end well. When I am watching these movies, I think why is this person so stupid. Everyone knows you shouldn’t investigate the noise in the basement. Particularly if it is late at night and no one else is at home. Come on.

Well, you would think I would be more careful when I heard a noise the other night. It was coming from outside. Without a second thought, I went out to the porch to investigate. Fortunately for me, it was nothing to worry about. It did, however, get me thinking, absent the suspense building music, I, without giving it a second thought, checked on the noise outside.

You think, after a lifetime of witnessing the worst in movies, I would know better by now. But clearly I am just the horror show victim waiting for the monster to leap out and get me. It is kind of embarrassing.

So my apologies to all the characters who I screamed at for being so stupid. I am deeply deeply sorry.