About 25 years ago I began to receive a catalogue for Cheap Undies for men. It came out of nowhere one day and I thought why am I getting this? I would never wear any of this and after giving it more thought I realized somehow, someone out their in the wide world web had figured out that I was gay. I am betting that straight males are not receiving these kind of catalogues. It is much more likely that they are receiving Victoria’s Secret.

I only say this because I wouldn’t want people to think I actually would wear anything like this. I am much more of the on sale brand at Macy’s kind of guy. I won’t buy the cheapest underwear, because like with wine buying, I think it is important to buy the 2nd cheapest as opposed to the cheapest. It sets you apart from the really cheap people. I wouldn’t want the clerk to get the wrong idea about me. It’s a rule for me — the 2nd cheapest pair of underwear, the 2nd cheapest bottle of wine.

And certainly nothing sexy or stylish. In my youth, I tried to wear them as to increase my sexual appeal. I usually felt vaguely uncomfortable and like a bit of a poser. And if you really consider underwear, it is the one item of clothing not available for perusal prior to picking up, so it seems like investing in a nicer T shirt or tighter jeans was a better investment. This is to say, in case you are missing my point and calming your fears about how sexy I think I am, I will not be purchasing the above products any time soon.

So now that I got that awkward stuff out of the way. What is it with the get up on gentleman number 1. Numbers 2 and 3 I get but what is that strap around the neck doing on the first young man. It looks like the straps to a bra. Without the bra. For a man. The only thing I can come up with is it draws the eye to his chest? But after a few seconds of grateful admiration I always return to what is he wearing and why?

It looks, and I am really trying to think of a gentle way to put this but can’t so I will just come out and say it, stupid. Why not go with the naked chest alone? Or a tank top or t Shirt? But a strap around the upper chest? Huh?