My nickname among my friends in high school was Space King which was due to the likely experience of finding me high anytime you encountered me. I am surprised that I even graduated given the minimal amount of time I put into my studies. My parents were confused too as my fairly poor grades did not reflect all the time I put in at the public library. I think it was their sly way of letting me know they knew what was really going on. I really think my mother was deliberately trying to annoy when she asked me return her library books because that meant I had to actually go to the library.

Despite fully embracing drug taking, I never wanted to be known as a drug dealer. I avoided crossing this particular line. I might sell a joint or two as a friendly gesture but a joint or two was not a drug dealer. I never got into the habit of buying large quantities of pot so that I could sell the excess. Anyone who sold large quantities pretty quickly slipped into paranoia about who they were selling to. This was a different time and if the cops found even a joint on you, they could send you to prison for a long long time. Good friends could narc you out, particularly if the cops had found any drugs on them. The extra money never seemed worth the trouble to me.

But mostly I was interested in my reputation. I had political ambitions in my youth. If I sold dope, I knew some asshole would remember my ill-spent youth and put the kibosh on my political career. I don’t know why I thought that this would protect my image. I mean people didn’t call me Space King for nothing.

Any way, I kind of reformed when I went to college. I reduce my drug taking to an occasional puff of marijuana and I began to study because I realized that being a pot head was going to limit my options. I was a new man. Unfortunately my reputation preceded me. I was seating in the college library actually studying for an exam when a woman I went to high school with approached me. This was a woman who I barely knew. I don’t think we said two words together the whole four years of high school. I thought it was odd but maybe she thought we attended a small high school and we were at a large university now, maybe she was looking for a friendly face. Boy was I wrong. She pretty quickly explained she had a big test tomorrow and needed some speed and wanted to know if could sell her some.

I was devastated. All that time I sacrificed making extra money was for nothing. Despite everything, I still had a reputation of being a dealer. I tried to be mad at her but I just ended up laughing. She explained that everyone knew I was big dope taker in high school and she just assumed that I would still know how to get them. She told me she would cross me off her list as possible speed suppliers. I was eternally grateful for her consideration but I fear the damage was done. I guess you can take the Space King out of the opium den but you can’t take the opium den out of the Space King. That is also is when I decided my political career was finished. The Democratic Party has never recovered from this loss but I did save them the awkward press conference when I would admit to being Space King.