Bob and I recently adopted two young cats. They had been living outside for awhile but weren’t feral. They came as a pair because Chloe was attached to her brother Cisco and it would be difficult to separate them. So we brought home Chloe and Cisco.

Cisco is a hulk. Think a lineman on a football team. He has a really thick neck with a bushy lion’s mane. He is a bit of bully with Chloe, at least, at first he was. Chloe followed Cisco around everywhere he went and I think the constant attention annoyed him after awhile and he would lash out at her to leave him alone. She also thought they could play together so he would surprise attack him from time to time. We tolerated the ensuing chase through the house which usually ended with a wrestling match. Our idea was that they needed to work out their relationship between the two of them. If Chloe hissed for help, we would rescue here but otherwise they rolled around for a few minutes until the nimble Chloe wiggled her way out of trouble.

Chloe eventually was able to get her social needs met from us and the fights between them lessened. The only contentious time left is dinner time when Cisco, who gobbles his food quickly, nudges the more leisurely eating Chloe away from her food bowl. Bob, concerned that Chloe isn’t getting her fair share of the food, stands guard while Chloe eats. This allows for Chloe to get to the half way point with her food before Cisco pushes her out of the way.

The problem is that Cisco also bullies us. He harasses us for people food while we are eating. We have learned from previous cats to never give cats people food. If you ever do, the cats won’t leave you alone while you eat. They want to know what you are eating and whether they can have a bite. I could put up with it if they confined this unruly behavior to just us but it is embarrassing when there are guests over and the cats leap on to the table to make a food grab. In the past we would lie and say this is so strange as this never happens with the two of us when it actually happens on a daily basis.

We decided early on that Cisco and Chloe would not get people food, particularly from the table while we were eating. It worked for Chloe. She learned pretty quickly that begging wasn’t going to get her anywhere and, for the most part has given up on begging for food. She will occasionally slip if she smells something particularly good but once turned down, she will stop begging. Cisco, on the other hand, doesn’t even beg, he plops is paw down on your plate as a first move in his food grab. And will not take no for an answer. Fortunately for us, he isn’t very quick and we are able to block his grabs without him getting anything of value.

However, food left unattended on the counter is extremely vulnerable. Just today Bob put out some packaged tortillas on the counter for our dinner. Since they were packaged and a non-animal protein product, we thought they were safe. Cisco thought otherwise. He bit and clawed his way through the packaging until the tortillas were free for him to nibble on. As far as he is concerned, he has the right to inspect any food item that comes into the house and taste to see if it is something he likes. Our experience with over 50 years of living with cats led us to believe that threats and screams would scare the normal cat away from any nefarious activity. Cisco is unmovable even if we run towards him while yelling no loudly. He just dares you to make him move and remains seated until he is removed from the counter. He is either too dim to understand that we are angry with him and he should flee the counter or he just doesn’t give a damn what we think. I suspect it is the later

Bob and I try to reassert our alphaness but Cisco isn’t surrendering the alpha mantel without a fight. Lately, his singular claim to the alpha tile was strengthned when he took over Bob’s favorite chair. Now Bob looks wistfully at his chair and mutters, “I wish I could have my chair back.” I tell Bob to move Cisco but Bob knows there will be a struggle and he isn’t sure who will come out with the prize. Losing to a cat would be a terrible blow to Bob’s ego. How could we show our faces at the White Party if people knew a cat took down Bob? The loser would certainly have to leave in shame and, right now, Cisco is the odds on favorite to retain the chair.