Radical trans activists claim that you can’t choose the genitalia that you are attracted to. If a born woman now claims she is a man now even though she hasn’t had the actual operation, her still present female genitalia shouldn’t stop people who like men. Once a trans man says he is a man, people should treat that person like a man even though he still has female genitalia. It doesn’t matter that some people may prefer a person with actual male genitalia. The only gender that matters is the one that the individual says they are. So if a person likes men, anyone who claims to be a man becomes dateable.

This baffles me as, I suspect, it baffles you. I am not a machine. There is no switch than can be flipped that will make me suddenly accept someone as a man who still retains female genitalia. My actual taste is even more refined than genitalia. I prefer a certain body build and an age group. Now, I am open to change but the very reason I am gay is I am attracted to the male body. I can’t explain it. It just is. If I could change to preferring the female body, I would have flipped that switch years ago when I was trying to be straight.

I don’t believe this to be a transphobic statement. Except I am being told that because I prefer bodies with male genitalia over trans men who still have female genitalia, I am being transphobic. The genitalia of a person shouldn’t make a difference. Well, then if so, why would I come out as gay, with all of the doubt and confusion surrounding this recognition, only to end up with a trans man who still has female genitalia. Why wouldn’t I just have stuck with heterosexuality and skip the trauma?

I think I am sympathetic to trans people so I try to understand the arguments regarding genitalia attraction. These articles are densely academic. Often I am not even sure that what I am reading pertains to what I want to learn about. They are that obtuse. If you find one that clearly states the argument, by all means, let me know but, at this point, I am unconvinced. I also am not saying it’s impossible. I am saying it hasn’t happened.

Which is where I begin to have problem with trans rights activists. In your mind you have created a perfect world and everyone should play by the rules of this perfect world. We don’t, however, live in your perfect world and, because of that, there needs to be a rather broad respect for people with varying opinions in this very flawed world. Given that I am a gay man who runs with a liberal group of individuals, I would say trans activists still need to do more work on convincing people. They are welcome to continue making this argument but until they sway large numbers of presently unbelieving Democrats and Liberals, they might find a better way to disagree with these allies on other issues in order to get good things done for everyone.

Trans people need good education, good health care, good public transportation and livable communities. In an evenly divided electorate, we need everybody on board. Trans activists have called both J.K. Rowling and Martina Navratilova transphobic. Well, OK, but they really haven’t convinced me and it doesn’t look like they intend to try. This is a problem. If Ted Crus, J.K. Rowling and Martina Navratilova are all transphobic, what they are saying is 100% compliance with their perfect world. There is a rather big difference between what Rowling believes about trans people and what Cruz believes, and there is even bigger difference between Navratilova and Cruz. The whole world is in transition about trans people. Not all people are in the same place.

Right now, the best we can do is have civil arguments about the place of Trans people in our society. For some reason, this is increasingly difficult to manage. It is nearly impossible for Democrats and Republicans to argue civilly, it would be a shame if this dying art disappears within the ranks of Liberals and Democrats.

In the meantime, it is annoying to tell people who they should lust after. I know what arouses me and I don’t need your help, thank you very much.