I blogged the other day that I was afraid the Democrats would go down to defeat over a peripheral issue such as the use of personal pronouns that matters to only a small section of the population. Well, ask and ye will receive. I saw a good example of what I am worried about. Bette Midler objected to the use birthing people and menstruators instead of the now forbidden word – women. Women is not inclusive of trans women or trans men or something like that. I am not exactly sure why women is non-inclusive but it is. I am sure I will be accused of being transphobic but I am honestly don’t understand what the problem is.

And that is kind of a problem for Midler’s critics. I’m still baffled on why woman or women is wrong. I read a particularly nasty piece by Alison Stine in Salon charmingly named “Language is flexible, unlike boomers Bette Midler and Jordan Peterson” Someone else must have felt the same way about the title as I did because boomer has been removed from in the current title and from the article. I think this, alone, says a lot about Stine’s article. You really shouldn’t write about the importance of being inclusive and respectful of what people want to be called with a title that is clearly condescending to older people. The whole tone of the article is that old people just need to get out of the way of this hipper and with it and obviously better generation of people. And, then, dare to say that these older people just need to learn how to be more inclusive and flexible. Doctor heal thyself first.

Midler was upset because people were using birthing people and menstruators instead of women in an article about abortion and healthcare. Again Stine fails to live up to her own standards. ( I am assuming Stine is she. I didn’t see a preferred pronoun for her in the article. My apologies if I am wrong). Her whole point is that we should respect people’s wishes and call them what they want to be called. Midler wants to be called a woman not a menstruator or a birthing person. It seems simple enough. But women isn’t inclusive enough for Stine. Birthing people and menstruators somehow is although I am not sure why. Not all women menstruate nor bear children — so they are actually excluding a lot of women here. I recommend pre-menstruators, post-menstruators and a non-birthing menstruators. If you then, toss in menstruator and birthing people I think you will have covered most of the female population. Does everyone feel included now?

When inclusive is so inclusive that you are alienating and confusing your audience, its best to rethink your approach and not scold your audience for objecting. When talking about abortion as healthcare issue, 99% of the people who need abortions identify as women. So when people use menstruator and birthing person they are meaningless to much of their audience whereas everyone understands woman and most adults knows why she might need an abortion.

How can people be confused by something so clear as menstruator and birthing person. Well, let me tell you. I was trying to explain the Midler tempest to two 70 plus gay men who are both liberal Democrats. Neither one knew what I was talking about and couldn’t understand why anyone would use menstruators or birthing people instead of women. I always thought one of the main tools of persuasive communication was making yourself understood to the other person. So, if you want to be inclusive, then stopping using the language of the academic elite (I swear every time I see CIS gendered, I have to look it up to make sure I understand what they are talking about) and use terms that can be found in the language of every day Americans. Terms like woman for instance.

Stine talks about the need to be flexible because language changes all of the time. Great, I agree with that. But birthing people and menstruators are new words. Menstruators is so new that it isn’t even in spell check. Contrary to what Stine thinks, the society as a whole has not adopted these words. Scolding people for not incorporating these terms immediately into their daily language is a terrible way to get people to change. Particularly a person like Midler who is more often than not an ally for liberal causes. She also is sympathetic to trans people in a way that most people her age will never be. But calling her, and people like Macy Gray, J.K. Rowling and Martina Navratilova, as transphobic is a losing battle. They are not Ted Cruz or Sean Hannity or Donald Trump. If transphobic is so broad to include all of these people, the term ceases to have meaning. Midler is on the right side and we need to keep her there for the difficult elections ahead.